(From a talk I was asked to give in my local congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on Nov. 26, 2023.)
My life, I suspect, is much like yours. I've had times of incredible happiness, and I've have had moments of intense struggle and pain. I've welcomed new family members and I've lost family members to illness, accidents, and suicide. I've started new jobs, and I've endured times of unemployment. I’ve had beautifully close family connections, and I'm learning to cope with the painful estrangement of adult children and our grandchildren.
To quote Charles Dickens from A Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, … it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”
My life has been messy. So, HOW – in the middle of our messy lives, do we find JOY?
The dictionary states that JOY is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.
I can tell you that I have NOT felt "great pleasure and happiness" in some of the things I’ve gone through. But I have felt JOY.
To me – JOY is more than just the feeling of great pleasure and happiness, it's pleasure and happiness wrapped up in PEACE, PERSPECTIVE, AND A POSITIVE OUTLOOK TOWARD THE FUTURE (HOPE).
So, a better title for this post might be: FINDING PEACE, PERSPECTIVE, AND HOPE IN TIMES OF TRIAL AND SUFFERING.
That I can do. And I can do it as I REFOCUS.
“My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to
do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of
our lives.”
Today, I want to talk about how we can REFOCUS. I learn best through metaphors, parables, and analogies. So, I want you to think about the analogy of your Cell Phone Cameras.
How many of
you have a cell phone? How many of you
take pictures and photos on your phone?
The ease of
taking pictures has changed so much over the past 30 years. Do any of you remember the days before
digital photography? Do you remember
having to load and wind film? Focusing
those 35 mm cameras was a little tricky with the different lenses, etc. And then after you took the pictures, you had
to send them off to be developed. You
had no idea how many of the photos would actually be in focus or be useable.
Technology
has improved to the point that many of us have advanced photography equipment
right in the palm of our hands. Think
about what you can do with your cell phone camera. You can take selfies or you can push a button and switch the
direction of the camera and take photos of what you see. You can take photos of large areas and grand
vistas, and many phones can even take panoramic photos that show a much broader
view than a normal photograph. You can
also zoom in and take close-up photographs of the tiniest details. Our cameras also have software that allows
you to crop out certain parts of the photos or change the lighting and the
sharpness and even the colors. When I
hold my phone up and take a photo, the image that I get will depend on the
focus that I choose.
With that
idea in mind, think about this quote by President Russell M. Nelson again.
“My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to
do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of
our lives.”
I think there are 4 specific ways that we can REFOCUS our lives to find
joy, much like we do with our cell phone cameras.
Sometimes our daily struggles and trials are so large and all encompassing that we can become overwhelmed. Sometimes we focus so much on our trials that we can’t see the bigger picture. President Russell M. Nelson described this type of worrying as MYOPIC, or nearsighted. In the middle of our trials, we forget the eternal perspective: why we are here, and what we are learning, and Who we can rely on for help. To keep an eternal perspective in our trials, we might need to REFOCUS by ZOOMING OUT.
Elder Dale
G. Renlund has said,
“When our day-to-day challenges loom before us, it is natural
to focus on the here and now. But when we do, we may make poor choices, become
depressed, or experience hopelessness. Because of this human tendency, prophets
have admonished us to remember the eternal perspective.”
Elder Rafael
E. Pino has said,
“The eternal perspective of the gospel leads us to understand
the place that we occupy in God’s plan, to accept difficulties and progress
through them, to make decisions, and to center our lives on our divine
potential.
Perspective is the way we see things when we look at them
from a certain distance, and it allows us to appreciate their true value.
It is like being in a forest and having a tree in front of
us. Unless we step back a little, we will not be able to appreciate what a
forest really is.”
Sister Tamara
W. Runia shared the following in October General Conference:
“… I invite you to
zoom out and look through a different lens—an eternal lens that focuses on the
big picture, your bigger story.”
When life and trials get overwhelming, take a step back. ZOOM OUT, REFOCUS and REMEMBER that our Heavenly Father is aware of you. He sees you. He knows your heart, and he knows your heartbreaks. He knows the purpose and potential in each of our struggles. He is with you every step of your journey, through every struggle and through every trial.
2. ZOOMING IN – FINDING JOY IN THE LITTLE THINGS - GRATITUDE
Some of the
trials we will face in life are seasonal – the dirty diapers, the final exams,
the minor sicknesses, employment struggles.
Other trials are more long-term.
They aren’t going to be fixed any time soon and can wear away at even
the strongest resolve. During times like
these, another way to find joy and peace is to REFOCUS by ZOOMING IN. When times are hard, we can focus on the
small and simple things that we often overlook when we’re in the middle of
trials.
I used to
walk for cardio and focused on increasing my speed and my stamina. After some personal setbacks this past
summer, I felt inspired to slow down my walks and to take a closer look at some
of the small details. I began taking
close-up photos – ZOOMING IN – on the plants and animals along the trail,
really focusing on the small and often overlooked beauty that is right in front
of us.
I have several friends who ask where this beautiful trail is that I’m walking on after they have seen the pictures I’ve taken. When I tell them the trail, I often get puzzled looks because at first glance the trail isn’t that remarkable. In fact, truth be told, there are other things on the trail that I could focus on that would paint an entirely different picture of the area. The trail is used by many people to ride their horses and walk their dogs. On the side of the trail there’s sometimes an awful lot of poop. That’s right horse poop, dog poop, lots of poop.
I walk on a daily trail of dust
and weeds and poop. That sounds an awful lot like my life sometimes too.
But I’ve never actually taken a picture of the poop. Why would I? Why would I choose to focus on that when I could instead take close-up photos of the dragonfly that was still cold and sleepy and posed oh so perfectly for me.
Or the stink bug trying so hard to lift the heavy rock that was twice his size.
Or the green and blue iridescent beetles on the milkweed.
Or the bees covered in pollen as they visited sunflower after sunflower.
I’ve come to recognize that the way I REFOCUS on the small things on my walks and in my life is a form of GRATITUDE.
Elder Dieter
F. Uchtdorf said this,
“Over the years, I have had the sacred
opportunity to meet with many people whose sorrows seem to reach the very
depths of their soul. In these moments, I have listened to my beloved brothers
and sisters and grieved with them over their burdens. I have pondered what to
say to them, and I have struggled to know how to comfort and support them in
their trials…
Everyone’s situation
is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, …there is
one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.
We can be grateful!
Why does God command us to be grateful?
Our loving Heavenly Father knows that choosing to
develop a spirit of gratitude will bring us true joy and great happiness.”
On my walks
I’m learning to REFOCUS and have gratitude for the good that is on my trail. In my life, I’m learning to REFOCUS and have
gratitude for the blessings that I have instead of focusing only on my trials.
3. FOCUSING OUTWARD – ANTI-SELFIES
Sometimes
the change in REFOCUS that we need is to change the camera from only focusing on ourselves
and our problems. We need to take the camera out of SELFIE MODE. When times are hard, it’s helpful to look
around to see what others are struggling with - it will give perspective so you
realize you’re not the only one going through trials.
Elder Dieter
F. Uchtdorf in his talk Your Happily Ever After has said,
“For a moment, think back about your favorite fairy tale. In
that story the main character may be a princess or a peasant; she might be a
mermaid or a milkmaid, a ruler or a servant. You will find one thing all have
in common: they must overcome adversity. … Sandwiched between their “once upon
a time” and “happily ever after,” they all had to experience great adversity.”
Everyone
experiences trials. Everyone needs care,
compassion, and understanding from others.
All of us are in the middle of our “once upon a times” and our “happily
ever afters”.
You might just find that when you look around you, there are others who are going through trials that are more serious than what you are facing. You might also find others currently going through, or who have gone through in the past the same things you are facing right now. We can be a strength to each other if we will take the time to turn off the selfie-mode and recognize others around us.
I love the
quote by Marjorie Pay Hinckley, "Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting
a hard battle."
I love the scripture in Philippians 4:13,
"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."
Elder
Richard G. Scott taught.
“You may be facing overwhelming challenges. Sometimes they are so concentrated, so
unrelenting, that you may feel they are beyond your capacity to control. Don’t
face the world alone. ‘Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not
unto thine own understanding’ [Proverbs 3:5]. … It was
intended that life be a challenge, not so that you would fail, but that you
might succeed through overcoming.”
As you change your focus upward to Jesus Christ, you can have the strength and peace to move through your trials. This involves REFOCUSING and having an eye of faith.
Sister Tamara
W. Runia taught,
“Moroni speaks about those whose faith was so “exceedingly
strong” that they “truly saw … with an eye of faith, and they were glad.”
With an eye focused on the Savior, they felt joy and knew
this truth that: because of Christ, it all works out. Everything you and you
and you are worried about—it’s all going to be OK! And those who look with an
eye of faith can feel that it’s going to be OK now.”
You can have JOY. You can have PEACE, PERSPECTIVE, AND HOPE even in the middle of your greatest trials, and you can have it NOW.
As you learn to REFOCUS by ZOOMING OUT for ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE, ZOOMING IN to see life with GRATITUDE, by FOCUSING OUTWARD to see others and help them through their trials and by FOCUSING UPWARD to remember your Heavenly Father and Savior are supporting you through every trial, you can have JOY and PEACE and HOPE.
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