Thursday, August 19, 2010

Kerrie TV: "Keep Breathing" Live Performance

Keep Breathing

I have found a new 'favorite' Christian artist... Kerrie Roberts. Her music is so soulful and I just love the messages. I heard her song No Matter What on the radio the other day and went in search of what other songs she might have. My absolute favorite is called Keep Breathing.

The lyrics are especially meaningful to me right now...

You wait in darkness for answers that you can't see.
You know what you deserve and
You're wondering why your life is not what you thought it should be.
When the night breaks your heart still aches.
How can you face the day?

Keep breathing, you'll make it.
Don't give in, you're not done yet.
Sometimes all that you can do is keep breathing, and believing.
Don't let go, just hang on tighter a little longer when you feel like you're dying.

Keep breathing.

When every moment is almost more than you can take;
Well you've got to know some tomorrow will bring you a breakthrough.
That's the reason why you've got to get through today.
When the night's gone you will be strong.

Keep breathing, you'll make it.
Don't give in, you're not done yet.
Sometimes all that you can do is keep breathing, and believing.
Don't let go, just hang on tighter a little longer when you feel like you're dying.

With every breath you bring in hope.
You're letting go of all your doubt.
When nothing is easy you've got to keep going
Even when you don't know how;
You don't have to know how.

Keep breathing, you'll make it.
Don't give in, you're not done yet.
Sometimes all that you can do is keep breathing, and believing.
Don't let go, just hang on tighter a little longer when you feel like you're dying.

Keep breathing.
Don't give up cuz you're not done.
Keep breathing.

I just love this message of enduring just a little longer.
In Psalms 30:5 it says... "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."
I don't know how long this night will last, but I do have faith that the morning WILL come. I am so grateful for the scriptures and for inspired music that sings the thoughts of my heart.

Someday when my children are raised I want to write and perform music again. I miss that part of who I am. I LOVE being a mom, but I want to be true to my spirit and my talents that I was given as well. Ahhh... but one trial at a time.

Friday, August 6, 2010

counting my blessings

Well, this has been an eventful week and I don't know quite where to start...

First I guess I should say that David went up to Scout Camp for the week because the ward couldn't find leaders and he doesn't have a job yet. He took the laptop and cell phone and has been applying for jobs while in the mountains. He has been completely accessible by phone and internet and so he even had a job interview on Tuesday. He was hopeful that he would get the job with Idaho Power, but he heard yesterday that he didn't get it.

That was hard for him.

It is hard when you know that you are doing what you need to be doing and the blessings that you want don't seem to come when you want. But the council from Elder Dallin H. Oaks sums up our attitude right now:

"Indeed, we cannot have true faith in the Lord without also having complete trust in the Lord’s will and in the Lord’s timing." ~ Dallin H. Oaks, October 2003 Ensign

And then the scripture that keeps coming to me this morning is in Isaiah 55:8-9

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." ~ Isaiah 55:8-9

I know the Lord will bless us, in His time, with the employment that we need to support our family. In the meantime, we have been so blessed this week. I am trying to hold back tears even as I type this.

We had some friends invite us to go to Yellowstone this week while David was up at camp. Of course we don't have money to take a vacation, but they offered to pay our gas and hotel even. We would just have to come up with food. We would be driving a few members of another family, so it wasn't like a charity case. Even so, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with going. I just thought this was because of my pride, so I kept delaying giving them a firm yes or no about going.

Well Monday evening I had a late night call from my brother, who had made some VERY poor choices and needed to be rescued. Melissa and I found him and got him home safely. I felt more strongly than ever that we should NOT go. I thought that I needed to stay in town for my brother. I called and cancelled.

Now ever since the first mention of this trip I have had the lingering thought that if I went that something would happen with our car and that there would be an accident or a repair. When the situation with my brother happenend I thought that I must be overreacting about the car and that the real reason for staying home had to be for my brother. Well I found out on Wednesday, and then again last night that the real reason was actually the car.

On Wednesday I went to get gas at Costco and the attendant noticed that my rear tire was REALLY low. I went and had it filled and they said it had a slow leak. I hadn't noticed it at home, and I can only imagine what could (and probably would) have happened on the highway on a 6 hour trip. There are some hairy curves and hills between here and Yellowstone and it would be my luck to lose the tire on one of these curves. But that didn't happen because I listened and stayed home.

To further emphasize the fact that we are being watched over, we had another incident with the car last night. After a day long trip shopping in Boise, we got home and the car was leaking coolant a little - no big deal. It was over 100 degrees yesterday and it didn't really phase me. Then I went to practice a musical number and when I pulled into the driveway I noticed that the little leak was now coming faster. I popped the hood and sure enough the radiator hose had a huge split in it and was spewing coolant all over the place. If I had been on a long trip when it burst, the engine would have been ruined.

As it was, I spent the evening pulling off the old hose and then trying to find a new one. Carol gave me a ride to Schucks and they matched prices w/ another company to save me $15. I put the new hose on this morning and it worked great. The temperature was stable and everything looked good. Jonathon and I washed the car inside and out and then he called to schedule his driving test...

Now this is where my faith started to waiver. We went out to take the car for an official test drive and to vacuum it out before his test. The car wouldn't start.

I just wanted to cry. This was my moment of feeling a little like Job.

Carol came and jump started the car and it works great. I have had time to reflect and realize that every trial we have had this week was minor compared to the loss of life or loss of a car that could have happened. We truly are blessed.

I know that the Lord will provide employment for us and that He is blessing us continually in so many other ways. The key will be to keep from getting discouraged and to appreciate and thank Him for all the blessings we enjoy. I will need to read Elder Dallin H. Oak's article this week and keep his council and this scripture in mind as we continue this journey. I am amazed at the tender mercies of our Lord. He is truly my Savior. He rescues me not only from my sins, but from my struggles and my trials. He has blessed us this week with so many personal miracles. And to add the best blessing of all, my newest niece Rebecca was born this morning at 3:15 am and is healthy and all is well.

All is well, all is well.

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