REFOCUS -– Finding Joy in times of trial and suffering through changing our FOCUS.

 (From a talk I was asked to give in my local congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on Nov. 26, 2023.)

My life, I suspect, is much like yours.  I've had times of incredible happiness, and I've have had moments of intense struggle and pain.   I've welcomed new family members and  I've lost family members to illness, accidents, and suicide.   I've started new jobs, and  I've endured times of unemployment.  I’ve had beautifully close family connections, and I'm learning to cope with the painful estrangement of adult children and our grandchildren.  

To quote Charles Dickens from A Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, … it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

My life has been messy.  So, HOW – in the middle of our messy lives, do we find JOY?

The dictionary states that JOY is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. 

I can tell you that I have NOT felt "great pleasure and happiness" in some of the things I’ve gone through.  But I have felt JOY.

To me – JOY is more than just the feeling of great pleasure and happiness, it's pleasure and happiness wrapped up in PEACE, PERSPECTIVE, AND A POSITIVE OUTLOOK TOWARD THE FUTURE (HOPE). 

So, a better title for this post might be: FINDING PEACE, PERSPECTIVE, AND HOPE IN TIMES OF TRIAL AND SUFFERING.

That I can do.  And I can do it as I REFOCUS.

 REFOCUS

 President Russell M. Nelson said,

“My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”

Today, I want to talk about how we can REFOCUS.  I learn best through metaphors, parables, and analogies.  So, I want you to think about the analogy of your Cell Phone Cameras. 

How many of you have a cell phone?  How many of you take pictures and photos on your phone? 

The ease of taking pictures has changed so much over the past 30 years.  Do any of you remember the days before digital photography?  Do you remember having to load and wind film?  Focusing those 35 mm cameras was a little tricky with the different lenses, etc.  And then after you took the pictures, you had to send them off to be developed.  You had no idea how many of the photos would actually be in focus or be useable.

Technology has improved to the point that many of us have advanced photography equipment right in the palm of our hands.  Think about what you can do with your cell phone camera.  You can take selfies or you can push a button and switch the direction of the camera and take photos of what you see.  You can take photos of large areas and grand vistas, and many phones can even take panoramic photos that show a much broader view than a normal photograph.  You can also zoom in and take close-up photographs of the tiniest details.  Our cameras also have software that allows you to crop out certain parts of the photos or change the lighting and the sharpness and even the colors.  When I hold my phone up and take a photo, the image that I get will depend on the focus that I choose.

With that idea in mind, think about this quote by President Russell M. Nelson again. 

“My dear brothers and sisters, the joy we feel has little to do with the circumstances of our lives and everything to do with the focus of our lives.”

I think there are 4 specific ways that we can REFOCUS our lives to find joy, much like we do with our cell phone cameras.

1.  ZOOMING OUT – FINDING ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE - the PANORAMIC VIEW

Sometimes our daily struggles and trials are so large and all encompassing that we can become overwhelmed.  Sometimes we focus so much on our trials that we can’t see the bigger picture.  President Russell M. Nelson described this type of worrying as MYOPIC, or nearsighted.  In the middle of our trials, we forget the eternal perspective: why we are here, and what we are learning, and Who we can rely on for help. To keep an eternal perspective in our trials, we might need to REFOCUS by ZOOMING OUT. 

Elder Dale G. Renlund has said,

“When our day-to-day challenges loom before us, it is natural to focus on the here and now. But when we do, we may make poor choices, become depressed, or experience hopelessness. Because of this human tendency, prophets have admonished us to remember the eternal perspective.”

Elder Rafael E. Pino has said, 

“The eternal perspective of the gospel leads us to understand the place that we occupy in God’s plan, to accept difficulties and progress through them, to make decisions, and to center our lives on our divine potential. 

Perspective is the way we see things when we look at them from a certain distance, and it allows us to appreciate their true value.

It is like being in a forest and having a tree in front of us. Unless we step back a little, we will not be able to appreciate what a forest really is.”

Sister Tamara W. Runia shared the following in October General Conference:

 “… I invite you to zoom out and look through a different lens—an eternal lens that focuses on the big picture, your bigger story.”

When life and trials get overwhelming, take a step back.  ZOOM OUT, REFOCUS and REMEMBER that our Heavenly Father is aware of you.  He sees you.  He knows your heart, and he knows your heartbreaks.  He knows the purpose and potential in each of our struggles.  He is with you every step of your journey, through every struggle and through every trial. 

2. ZOOMING IN – FINDING JOY IN THE LITTLE THINGS - GRATITUDE

Some of the trials we will face in life are seasonal – the dirty diapers, the final exams, the minor sicknesses, employment struggles.  Other trials are more long-term.  They aren’t going to be fixed any time soon and can wear away at even the strongest resolve.  During times like these, another way to find joy and peace is to REFOCUS by ZOOMING IN.  When times are hard, we can focus on the small and simple things that we often overlook when we’re in the middle of trials.

One thing that I have done to REFOCUS myself the past few years has been to get out into nature and walk.  I mainly walk a trail about half a mile from where we are now.  The trail is an old farm road that winds along the boundary of Deer Flat Wildlife Refuge and has views of wetlands, farm fields, Lake Lowell, gravel pits, abandoned vineyards, and lots of sage brush and weeds. 

I used to walk for cardio and focused on increasing my speed and my stamina.  After some personal setbacks this past summer, I felt inspired to slow down my walks and to take a closer look at some of the small details.  I began taking close-up photos – ZOOMING IN – on the plants and animals along the trail, really focusing on the small and often overlooked beauty that is right in front of us. 

I have several friends who ask where this beautiful trail is that I’m walking on after they have seen the pictures I’ve taken.  When I tell them the trail, I often get puzzled looks because at first glance the trail isn’t that remarkable.  In fact, truth be told, there are other things on the trail that I could focus on that would paint an entirely different picture of the area.  The trail is used by many people to ride their horses and walk their dogs.  On the side of the trail there’s sometimes an awful lot of poop.  That’s right horse poop, dog poop, lots of poop.  

I walk on a daily trail of dust and weeds and poop. That sounds an awful lot like my life sometimes too. 

But I’ve never actually taken a picture of the poop.  Why would I?  Why would I choose to focus on that when I could instead take close-up photos of the dragonfly that was still cold and sleepy and posed oh so perfectly for me.

Or the stink bug trying so hard to lift the heavy rock that was twice his size.

Or the green and blue iridescent beetles on the milkweed.

Or the bees covered in pollen as they visited sunflower after sunflower.  

I choose to REFOCUS on the small waves coming into the rocky shores, the frost on the leaves, the raindrops or dew on the grasses, the patterns of moss on fallen logs, and the beautiful sunrises.

I’ve come to recognize that the way I REFOCUS on the small things on my walks and in my life is a form of GRATITUDE. 

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said this,

“Over the years, I have had the sacred opportunity to meet with many people whose sorrows seem to reach the very depths of their soul. In these moments, I have listened to my beloved brothers and sisters and grieved with them over their burdens. I have pondered what to say to them, and I have struggled to know how to comfort and support them in their trials…

Everyone’s situation is different, and the details of each life are unique. Nevertheless, …there is one thing we can do to make life sweeter, more joyful, even glorious.

We can be grateful!

Why does God command us to be grateful?

Our loving Heavenly Father knows that choosing to develop a spirit of gratitude will bring us true joy and great happiness.”

On my walks I’m learning to REFOCUS and have gratitude for the good that is on my trail.  In my life, I’m learning to REFOCUS and have gratitude for the blessings that I have instead of focusing only on my trials.

3. FOCUSING OUTWARD – ANTI-SELFIES

Sometimes the change in REFOCUS that we need is to change the camera from only focusing on ourselves and our problems. We need to take the camera out of SELFIE MODE.  When times are hard, it’s helpful to look around to see what others are struggling with - it will give perspective so you realize you’re not the only one going through trials.

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf in his talk Your Happily Ever After has said,

“For a moment, think back about your favorite fairy tale. In that story the main character may be a princess or a peasant; she might be a mermaid or a milkmaid, a ruler or a servant. You will find one thing all have in common: they must overcome adversity. … Sandwiched between their “once upon a time” and “happily ever after,” they all had to experience great adversity.”

Everyone experiences trials.  Everyone needs care, compassion, and understanding from others.  All of us are in the middle of our “once upon a times” and our “happily ever afters”. 

You might just find that when you look around you, there are others who are going through trials that are more serious than what you are facing.  You might also find others currently going through, or who have gone through in the past the same things you are facing right now.  We can be a strength to each other if we will take the time to turn off the selfie-mode and recognize others around us.

I love the quote by Marjorie Pay Hinckley, "Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

 4. FOCUSING UPWARD – FOCUS ON THE SAVIOR

I love the scripture in Philippians 4:13, 

          "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

Elder Richard G. Scott taught.

“You may be facing overwhelming challenges.  Sometimes they are so concentrated, so unrelenting, that you may feel they are beyond your capacity to control. Don’t face the world alone. ‘Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding’ [Proverbs 3:5]. … It was intended that life be a challenge, not so that you would fail, but that you might succeed through overcoming.”

As you change your focus upward to Jesus Christ, you can have the strength and peace to move through your trials.  This involves REFOCUSING and having an eye of faith.

Sister Tamara W. Runia taught,

“Moroni speaks about those whose faith was so “exceedingly strong” that they “truly saw … with an eye of faith, and they were glad.”

With an eye focused on the Savior, they felt joy and knew this truth that: because of Christ, it all works out. Everything you and you and you are worried about—it’s all going to be OK! And those who look with an eye of faith can feel that it’s going to be OK now.”

You can have JOY.  You can have PEACE, PERSPECTIVE, AND HOPE even in the middle of your greatest trials, and you can have it NOW.

As you learn to REFOCUS by ZOOMING OUT for ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE, ZOOMING IN to see life with GRATITUDE, by FOCUSING OUTWARD to see others and help them through their trials and by FOCUSING UPWARD to remember your Heavenly Father and Savior are supporting you through every trial, you can have JOY and PEACE and HOPE.  

re·fo·cus

/rēˈfōkəs/  verb

to adjust (something, such as a camera or a lens) again to make an image clear

 

The Benefits of Blooming in the Weed Patch

I've heard the saying "Bloom where you're planted" my entire life.
What does that mean?
Why are some people planted in lush gardens and others in barren deserts; while still others are in rocky outcroppings or in climates that only allow blooms to happen for short amount of time?  

Why are some blooms spectacular and others more simple and understated?  

Why are some flowers highly praised and others overlooked?

I love wildflowers.  I have since I was a child. Directly behind my childhood home is a large hill.  Every spring and summer the hillside is filled with wildflowers.  I grew up appreciating these simple, yet beautiful blooms. I often came home from my hillside adventures with sego lily, black eyed Susan and Indian paintbrush bouquets.

I also had a paper route as a child, and one of my customers was the local flower shop.  I loved to admire the magnificent flowers that I saw there, but somehow I instinctively knew that these were not "my" type of flowers.  My type of flowers were to be the simple wildflowers.

I say instinctively, but in reality it had nothing to do with instinct at all.  

In my hometown, like many, popularity and value and worth were determined by where you lived.  My home was BELOW the hill.  The fancy homes were ON the hill.  "Roses" bloomed on the hill while "wildflowers and weeds" grew below.
From my earliest memories, other people made very clear that I was not blooming in the right garden.  I was a wildflower - a weed - and NOT a rose.  I had no business trying to associate at school, at work, (at church even) with the beautiful roses and lilies and other "fine" flowers.  I needed to stay in the weed patch.  I needed to know my place.

Well, the problem was that I was a very outspoken weed.  I actually had the nerve to think of myself as beautiful and worthwhile.  I actually though that my simple blooms could add something to the roses and lilies and together we could be spectacular.  I was reminded often that this wasn't true.  I was simply a weed and I'd better not forget it. 

Eventually, I was "transplanted" out of the weed patch.  During college and subsequent moves to  different cities, I was able to start fresh without anyone knowing where I came from.  

Now, I didn't quite make it to the premier rose garden, but at least it was a garden with a large variety of different blooms, each with their own unique colors and sizes and fragrance.  There were roses and wildflowers and weeds growing peacefully all together.

More and more often, the roses that came to grow in my garden were thorn-less roses who saw the beauty in themselves AND in others and often preferred the company of weeds and common wildflowers to the company of the designer roses.  I was able to mingle with roses and daisies alike.

But once in a while, a "designer" rose would grace us with their presence in the garden. This rose was bred for greatness and they knew it, and we had better know it too.  These were miserable times in the garden for everyone. These roses tried to reminde me once again that I had no business trying to associate with roses that were worth far more than I ever could be.    

But by turning to friendly roses and wildflowers and beautiful weeds, those thoughts didn't last. Over the years I have come to know that the Creator of roses is also the Creator of weeds.  

"Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons" Acts 10:34.

"... I understood that every flower created by Him is beautiful, that the brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not lessen the perfume of the violet or the sweet simplicity of the daisy."  Saint Theresa of Lisieux

So, what have I learned from my days in different gardens?

• Every flower is beautiful, even the weeds.
• It is possible ... and even beautiful ... for a variety of flowers to bloom in the same location.  Each adding its own unique contribution to the garden.
• Some roses are only pretty on the outside.  Their insides are full of thorns.
• BUT, not all roses have thorns.  Many are quite lovely and grow well with many varieties of different flowers.
• I've come to know amazing people who will never be welcome in the rose garden; beautiful, kind, intelligent, thoughtful, worthwhile people who have been treated like weeds their entire lives.  It's ok to be a weed.  It's not ok to destroy the self worth of others.
• The smallest, most fragile and almost shy blossoms are some of my favorites. 

I love the weeds and see their value.  I love the daisies (yes, a weed), the baby's breath, the forget me nots, the yarrow, the cornflowers (bachelor buttons), and the purple loosestrife. Some of these I've even planted in my garden ON PURPOSE ... imagine that.  I've also planted a beautiful assortment of roses.  

So please ... Bloom Where You Are Planted, even if you are told you are a weed ... not because you can't or shouldn't bloom anywhere else, but because YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and your bloom is essential and valued and needed in this world. And as you bloom so gloriously and unashamed, remember to Keep Breathing.

I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go

It may not be on the mountain’s height, or over the stormy sea; 

It may not be at the battle’s front my Lord will have need of me;

This song has special meaning for me in my life. When my husband and I were recently graduated from college, he took a job managing a clinic and was promised great pay and benefits, and the opportunity to turn around a struggling business. He worked very hard, but despite his best efforts, the clinic was sinking further into debt. The problem was a dishonest employer who eventually lost her clinic and her license to practice.

Throughout the last 6 months of his employment my husband looked and looked for other work, but the employment in the area was severely depressed at the time. We fasted and prayed and felt strongly that we should look for work in another city, but as we prayed we also felt that the Lord was telling us “Yes… but not yet.” We couldn’t understand why the Lord would ask us to continue with this employer when week after week our paychecks were bouncing and we were having to borrow money to pay our rent and buy food.

At this time I was serving in Young Women’s over the Miamaids. One week in Ward Council I was told that a young woman had moved into our ward and wanted to come to church. The only problem was, this young woman didn’t live with her family. She lived at the group home for troubled teens. She had survived years of abuse from her father and when she finally confided in her seminary teacher and then police, her family kicked her out and disowned her. She was bounced from foster home to foster home. She felt abandoned, worthless, used, and she trusted no one. She needed more therapy than they could access for her in a traditional foster home and was eventually sent to live in the group home. 

I was nervous the first time I went to pick her up for an activity. The kids in the home had come from all different backgrounds. Most were in and out of juvi, many had drug and alcohol problems, and many suffered from mental illness. Honestly I was scared to death what type of an influence I might be bringing to my other young women. But there was something special about her and there was an instant connection.

Over the months she began to come to church, and to Girl’s Camp. We became close friends and soon she was spending all her time outside of school at our home. We would check her out of the group home at 6am and check her back in at 10pm, there was even the occasional slumber party. There were many tearful late night talks over ice cream and early morning walks discussing God’s love for her. There were honest heartfelt questions of “Why Me” and “How Can I Ever Be Normal”. There were scriptures read, blessings given, and many, many prayers said together. Our Young Women lessons took on new life as the girls bonded with her and each was able to share their own personal struggles and build each other up. The broken and scarred girl who came into our lives slowly began to like herself and to feel that she had worth. The girl who once thought of herself as worthless garbage to be tossed aside now had a burning testimony that she was a divine Daughter of God.

Slowly, after months, she began to trust again and she began progressing with her therapy and was able to interview for foster homes. We went with her as she met her new foster parents and she was so excited to show us her new room and get our approval on her new temporary family. Late in the fall she was able to leave the group home and move in with her foster family.

Within just a few days of moving her in to her new foster home, my husband received a job offer in another city. Our prayers had been answered and we felt that the Lord was saying, “Now that you’ve finished what I needed you to do here, you can move on.”

We don’t always know how to travel the path that the Lord calls us to walk. But we aren’t expected to travel it alone. As we put our trust in the Lord and take his hand we can “go where He wants us to go” as we Keep Breathing.

But if by a still, small voice He calls to paths I do not know,
I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine,
I’ll go where You want me to go.

The "Ugly Stage"

In crafting and theater there is a stage right near the end of the project where you look and realize you have put an incredible amount of time into something that is just plain ugly. You have worked and worked and done everything right, but it just doesn't look like what it's supposed to yet. My craft mentor and friend taught me that this is the  "Ugly Stage"... the stage when you just really want to throw it away and never look at it again because you can't possibly see how something so ugly can ever turn out the way it's supposed to.

In theater this "Ugly Stage" happens a week or two before the performance.  You realize that even though you have spent hours and weeks singing and dancing and memorizing lines ... somehow all you have are little pieces of a jumbled mess and you keep mixing them up and tripping over yourself and you just know that it will be the biggest flop and the most embarrassing moment of your life if you actually try to perform this ugly mess.



Then, a magical thing happens.

If you don't give up, then the craft project begins to take shape and the theatrical performance suddenly makes sense. It happens so quickly that it is hard to believe that the "Ugly Stage" even existed. But it did.

And so it is with life. There is a whole lot of working and practicing and trying to live the way we're supposed to and a whole lot of struggling and paying our dues. We look around one day and see that what we have gotten for all of our efforts is just a whole lot of "Ugly". But we can't give up, because after the "Ugly Stage" comes the finished product that is so much better than we can ever imagine when we are staring so intently at the "Ugly".

The part that makes life even better than a craft project or theater is that our Savior is the Master Craftsman who takes our "Ugly" and shapes it into the Divine.



He is the Director who guides and directs our play into a performance worthy of Eternal audiences.

We must endure the "Ugly Stage" and have faith that through our Savior, Jesus Christ, the finished Eternal product of our lives will be so much better than we ever could have imagined, if we just Keep Breathing.

...let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...
Hebrews 12:1-2

"I Just Needed You to Ask."

It’s amazing to me how everyday situations can remind me of my relationship with Heavenly Father.  This morning I asked Logan to bring me his agenda for school.  Each day they are to record their homework and any other notes from the teacher about upcoming activities or supplies needed etc….  Along with his homework for the day, Logan had written down “binders plees”.  I asked him if he needed binders for school.  He looked at the floor and whispered sadly and apologetically, “Yes.”   

I should insert here that the past few years our family has been recovering from a layoff that resulted from a company merger.  Because of this, our income was cut in half, and due to the current state of the economy, we haven’t been able to find employment that pays even close to the original wage.  So a good portion of Logan’s school life has been scrimping and saving and thrift stores and clearance sales.  Add to this the fact that we have had a wedding and a sent out a missionary this past year and Logan has seen me take on part time jobs and work all sorts of various odd jobs to help out.  Logan was worried to ask me about a binder for school because he didn’t want us to have to spend money on him that we may not have.  

I asked him what kind of binder he needed and he said, “Just a 3 ring binder with a place to put a picture on the front.”  I told him we had several and they were actually just a few feet from where he was standing.  He was so excited!  I let him know that I had prepared ahead of time for the things I thought he might need, and that I was just waiting for him to ask when he needed something.

Think about that …

Everything was prepared ahead of time in case he needed it, and all he had to do was come to me and ask.  He didn’t have to beg.  He didn’t have to earn it.  He didn’t have to do anything other than let me know what he needed and when he did, it was already available.  I was excited and happy to give him what he needed and I was grateful that something that I had sacrificed to provide was finally being used instead of sitting on a shelf gathering dust.

I told him, “I already have binders for you, I just needed you to ask.”  As I said these words I could imagine our Heavenly Father saying the same thing to me… “I already have everything you need for this trial, I just needed you to ask.”

Our Heavenly Father has already prepared the tools, the people, and the opportunities that we will need in this life.  Our Savior has already worked, struggled, and paid the price.  All that is left is for us to come to them and ask.

“I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, … my Spirit shall be in your [heart], and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”  Doctrine and Covenants 84:88

Sometimes I think we are like Logan and don’t want to bother our Heavenly Father.  We also don’t want to cause Him to sacrifice any more on our behalf.  Maybe we don’t think we are worth it.  Maybe we think Heavenly Father is too busy and doesn’t really have time for us.  Maybe we don’t really know what we need.

Our Heavenly Father is a God of love.  He has already prepared everything for us and rejoices when we take advantage of the things He has provided.  He wants us to use the Atonement that His Son, Jesus Christ has already paid for.  He wants us to come to Him and let Him know what blessings we need and how He can help us.  He wants us to know that He loves us and He wants us to Keep Breathing.

  "Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God...."  
1 John 3:1

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life."  John 3:16  

Kintsugi or Kinsukuroi: Broken Things

A friend shared with me today the lovely art/idea of Kintsugi (Kinsukuroi).  Kintsugi is the traditional Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with a strong adhesive and then sprinkling the adhesive with gold dust.  The result is that the broken pottery is now mended and in fact even stronger than the original.  Instead of trying to hide the flaws and cracks, they are accentuated and celebrated because they now have become the strongest part of the pottery.  

I love the idea that each of us can be mended and become even stronger than we originally were through Christ.  Often we view ourselves as not measuring up, not good enough, not perfect ... broken.  

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gave a talk in 2006 entitled  Broken Things to Mend. 

In his talk, Elder Holland shares the following insights:

"The first words Jesus spoke in His majestic Sermon on the Mount were to the troubled, the discouraged and downhearted. “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” He said, “for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  Whether you are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or among the tens of thousands listening this morning who are not of our faith, I speak to those who are facing personal trials and family struggles, those who endure conflicts fought in the lonely foxholes of the heart, those trying to hold back floodwaters of despair that sometimes wash over us like a tsunami of the soul. I wish to speak particularly to you who feel your lives are broken, seemingly beyond repair....
If you are lonely, please know you can find comfort. If you are discouraged, please know you can find hope. If you are poor in spirit, please know you can be strengthened. If you feel you are broken, please know you can be mended."

What a beautiful concept, that Christ will take us as we are, broken and tattered, and he will mend us
and help us become even more than we could ever become on our own.  There is a song that I love that expresses this so beautifully, 

Broken, by Kenneth Cope.

Broken clouds give rain
Broken soil grows grain
Broken bread feeds man for one more day
Broken storms yield light
The break of day heals night
Broken pride turns blindness into sight
Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
Could it be that God loves broken things
Broken chains set free
Broken swords bring peace
Broken walls make friends of you and me
To break the ranks of sin
To break the news of Him
To put on Christ till His name feels broken in
Broken souls that need His mending
Broken hearts for offering
I believe that God loves broken things
And yet, our broken faith, our broken promises
Sent love to the cross
And still, that broken flesh, that broken heart of His
Offers us such grace and mercy
Covers us with love undeserving
This broken soul that cries for mending
This broken heart for offering
I'm convinced that God loves broken me
Praise His name—my God loves broken things
So, broken cloud—Give rain
And broken soil—Grow grain
And broken bread—Feed man for one more day

As we turn to the Savior to be healed and to be perfected, we may just find ourselves more filled with gold than with pottery.  And through Him we will be able to be whole, to be good enough, to be perfect.  Perfection isn't a life without flaws, it's a life where those flaws are mended, our hearts are healed, and we remember to Keep Breathing.

Chasing Rabbits

"To cite a whimsical saying; 'If you chase two rabbits, both of them will escape.' No one is adequate to do everything all at once. We have to select what is important, what is possible, and begin where we are, with what we have. And if we begin and if we keep going the weight, the worry, the doubt, the depression will begin to lift .... We can't do everything always, but we can do something now, and doing something will help to lift the weight and lessen the worry, 'The beginning,' said Plato, 'is the most important part.'"--Richard L. Evans

I love this quote.  Too often I find myself chasing way too many rabbits... working 3 part time jobs, being mom to 4 kids at home and one missionary and one newly wed, teaching Sunday School for teenagers, being a supportive wife, taking time to be a good friend, trying to enjoy some time arranging flowers ... the list goes on.  The wonderful thing about my life is that I truly enjoy each and every part of it.  Don't get me wrong, there are definitley hard days and endless challenges.  But I kind of love the challenge.  The problem is that I find that I get upset with myself for getting burned out or tired or just not measuring up... And the silly thing is that I am the only one who thinks I'm not measuring up.  Well, ok, there are always those who are really quick to judge and would be eager to point out my failings, but my biggest critic has always been myself.

I think this is a universal problem for most women.  We really want to be able to do it all and we somehow think that anything less than everything isn't good enough.  But good enough for who?  Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to be everything.  Most of the time society doesn't expect us to be everything.  Our families don't even expect us to be everything.  Honestly, I am the one who puts the pressure on myself.

So, what do I cut out?  How do I prioritize?  It really isn't possible financially to cut out any of the jobs right now, and they are such an incredible blessing because they allow me to be with my family when they are home and to still help meet our financial obligations.  I can't just stop being a mom, and I don't want to.  I love my family.  They are my world.  I enjoy my time with friends ... I seem to have a hard time making friends so I treasure the ones I have.  I guess I just don't play well with others.  My flowers are such a peaceful expression of my soul and I love the opportunity to create something beautiful.

So what to do?

When I was a young girl we had a pet rabbit with soft, beautiful white fur named Snowball.  As a girl I loved to hold and cuddle this soft white bunny.  She was my confidant and I could tell her my inner most thoughts and daydreams.  She didn't judge.  She didn't criticize.  She just sat in my arms and made me feel loved.

One day we took Snowball in the backyard to get some excercise.  She loved the cool green grass and soon decided that this paradise was so much better than her cage.  She decided to make her escape and I found myself literally chasing a rabbit.  Round and round the yard we ran with Snowball always one hop ahead of me.  I couldn't lose my friend, she was much too important to me... I just had to catch her.  I leapt after my Snowball and made a frantic grab for her beautiful fluffy white tail... and to my horror, as I caught hold of the swiftly hopping bunny, I pulled her tail completely off.  I was devastated.  I thought I had killed her.  I sobbed harder than I knew I could.

In the end, she ended up being just fine... a little shaken and definitely not the happy bunny she had been just moments before.  But I learned a valuable lesson.  Running around frantically chasing rabbits is a little like chasing things in life that we think will bring contentment and peace.  While it is possible, with patience and strategy and a little luck, to catch one rabbit ... it is quite another thing to chase several at a time.

My advice to myself and to others?
Be good to yourself.  Give yourself permission to sit quietly and enjoy the peace and joy that can come from taking the time to focus on one precious thing at a time.  There will be time to hold other rabbits, but allow yourself to enjoy each season of life as it comes.  Slow down and take a look at all the good that you are doing, instead of focusing on all the areas you feel you are failing in.

And when you can't see the road ahead and it seems that you will never find that peace and rest that you long for, trust in your Heavenly Father and remember that He has said, "Be still and know that I am God."  ~Psalms 46:10

The maker of rabbits, and challenges, and families, and trials knows and loves you so completely.  Trust in Him.  Seek His peace.  Take His hand.  Feel His love...  and Keep Breathing.